Feces Pizza or Cici's Pizza?

 

 

 

I'm going to start by saying that I no longer do buffets, not even Chinese ones because I think they're unsanitary and disgusting. Here's a food buffet nightmare/horror story (It's just about Cicis Pizza in general).

 

This is not the traditional celebrity nickname, but it's deserving, and it had to be done because I just saw the commercial promoting their $5.99 special. If I'm known for anything, it's keeping it real, and this is where keeping it real could go wrong. I've

never seen this operation in NYC where I am from, but I have seen this place in Georgia. I'm going to keep it real and admit that I have been to eat at this place once back in my late teens on a date, unfortunately. However, I was blown away that the guy took me to a $2.99, all you can eat, pizza buffet (this is where keeping it real goes wrong because I'm admitting that I actually ate there). I was curious about how it tasted, and how they could afford to have a pizza buffet for so cheap. I remember that the food was literally shit. I'm from Brooklyn, we have real Italian food. So, I am ashamed to admit that I ever tried it. However, I remember that it was like $2.99 all you can eat with the soda and free refills!

 

 

However, you will see below the reason for me creating this blog post. I can't believe that Feces Pizza actually had the nerve to increase their prices, and I bet you that the food has not increased in quality. I thought that my mind had to be playing tricks on me and that my memory was inaccurate until I found the proof below that the pizza was 2.99.  

 

 

 

 

 

My Husband's Remix of Beyonce's Celebrity Nickname (mine wasn't mean enough)

From Fiance Knowles to...

Beyonce Trolls

     

 

I'm an oldskool Beyonce fan, and I enjoy listening to many of her old hits. I don't keep up with her songs much these days, but I am often exposed to her in general (superbowl half time show, xfinity ads for her documentary, etc). My spouse is very anti-Beyonce. I used to believe that he only made hateful comments regarding his lack of attraction to her for my benefit. At first, I thought he was just being sweet every time that he would express his disgust for her…you know, so as not to make me feel insecure. However, I had de-sensitized myself to partners in the past who commented openly on their attraction to other women (famous or not). Often times these women looked strikingly dissimilar to me, which planted seeds of insecurity within me.

By the time I married Seth, I was very secure with myself as an attractive woman. I would tell him over and over that he could admit if he considered a woman to be attractive...I trust him. However, he insists that he hates Beyonce, she can't sing, and he's unattracted to her because she has "tic tac, baby teeth". His consistent hatred of her over the years has me convinced that he's being honest. It's actually a little annoying to me because I can't enjoy any of her songs, movies, etc. without him commenting the entire time (negatively).

Her teeth are kind of small, but they look good to me...like tic tac baby teeth to Seth.
I look at this picture, and I see an attractive woman, so I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

Celebrity Naming Ceremony-My Abuse of Free Time During Spring Break

Why Did I drink the Hateraide?

It's Spring Break, and I want to join the masses and write a B.S Blog instead of an informative one. Many people enjoy poking fun at their favorite celebrities or just the ones they love to hate, it's simply apart of our culture to make fun of them because their lives are on public display. I used to have more appreciation for the entertainment industry back in the day; I enjoyed my time at Avondale High School of the Performing Arts in Decatur, Ga back in the 90's. However, I am so perturbed with my ties to television and movie culture that I often don't have any positive feedback as a spectator of what I consider to be monotonous performances.

Forbes List of the World's Most Powerful Celebrities - this link provides shocking information on the world's most powerful celebrities. This link was helpful in jogging my memory when I failed to rattle off a list of celebrity nicknames in the process of creating this blog. The nicknames are often cruel, which makes me laugh when I'm annoyed and feeling extra jaded.



Tyler Perry movies are funny in a completely non intellectual, retarded and corny-as-hell humorous way, but his cookie cutter writing takes no genius or talent (his financial success is no indication of that, his target audience is just stupid as fuck). I've seen all of his original plays and most of his movies, so I guess I'm stupid too. They really are funny, but many times I am laughing at how not funny they are.  I should pump out a poor quality plot and get paid too! Really, he's just the P.Diddy of  Black Cinema; he remixes old good quality black movies into shitty poor quality new movies.

As far as that Forbes link is concerned, I thought it was interesting that Tyler Perry is richer than Beyonce and P.Diddy combined. I don't know why I didn't think about the fact that he writes, produces and directs movies, so it makes sense that he has more income. Beyonce is worth $40 million (without Jay-Z), and Diddy is worth $45 million, while Tyler Perry is worth $105 million dollars.

Not because I'm not in their tax bracket or anything, but I think it's sick that we have a list of people and their net worth. Money or professional success doesn't equal integrity...look at Joe Paterno. However, I am perpetuating the cycle with this blog...we're all hypocrites!


Now Let's Have some Fun!

This blog is fun, and it's something that I do at home (vocally) with my husband, and it makes me laugh when I'm feeling particularly shitty (for lack of a better term...haha...melancholy?) I love movies because I was raised in the U.S.A, and everything here is centered around American culture.

 I get annoyed with the movie culture here- the predictable plots, the annoying formulas, etc. The most annoying part is how people are so engrossed in movies that this shit spills into ordinary life (look around you, and you'll notice that the average American acts as if they're in a movie...listen to the way people speak, etc). When I lived in Santa Monica, Ca, I met a great deal of popular celebrities, but I won't make fun of any of them on this blog...it's hard for me to be mean to real people. The ones on this list are still just little people in the television to me (haha...I'm really laughing).

Here are the people that you have to thank for our annoying movie culture (partially, don't forget that you perpetuate the cycle by watching the films and reading this blog):


Tom Spooge

He's actually one of my faves, I think his whole scientology kick is hilarious. It doesn't bother me that he's apart of it, but I do wonder about the people who'd join a religion created by a world reknowned science fiction writer, who admittedly created a profitable religion. Anyway, he's not the first to do it, but L.Ron was the first to admit it. Besides, I don't see the difference in this and any other religion...a religion is a religion is a religion...

Definition of "Spooge"

Definition of Spooge from onlineslangdictionary.com

• cream filling as in snack cakes, Twinkies, and other filling

• displeasing or unidentifiable - but generally sticky or slimy - substance
• semen

Yes, you can thank South Park for this one...I had never heard of the word, "spooge", prior to watching an episode where Cartman used the word; therefore, I knew it couldn't mean anything positve. My husband was looking for a good word that could replace the name, Cruise (obviously). So, we decided upon "spooge".





Angelina Blow Me



I'm just trying to figure out the identity of the actual person who decided that she was a great actress in the first place. I loved her as a brain dead teenager (when I was braindead not her) when she starred in Hackers, Firefox, Girl Interrupted, Gia, etc. I call her Angelina Blow Me for obvious reasons as well as the fact that her acting fucking blows, and she's been forced down my throat because she's the daughter of Jon Voigt...who gives a damn?! (apparently me to some extent...haha).

Brad Shitt                                      All I can say is "WTF?"

You guys would never believe that I actually love Brad Pitt, he did a lot for the families who suffered during Katrina, and he helped in ways that are going to last a lifetime. Not to trivialize his good deeds, but what's with this picture? I wasn't even going to bother him until I saw this hippie, poser douche bag pic with his fake ass dreads. I have locks, and I despise fake ones. Ife's Youtube Loc Journey


I call him Brad Shitt because I do love him, but I don't think he's as good an actor as people give him credit for. He's just attractive, which is why we watch him.


Miley Virus

I chose to compare Miley to the bacteriophage (virus attacking bacteria) you see in the picture below. I am personally offended by acts like Miley's. This could be who she really is, but I think she is suffering from a severe case of acute poser-bdsm-eritis. She's been forced down my throat ever since she looked like the girl in the picture below...Hannah Montana? I see many kids her age suffering from similar diseases. It's just like Rhianna...change up the image as a marketing strategy. Why am I truly mad at them? I don't know, but I am, and I just felt like being honest about it.


Am I the only one whose annoyed by the sight of this kid? He looks like a douche bag wearing that hat. He's such an annoying "bro".
Ass N Cooter
This is the perfect nickname for him

I prefer Ass N Cootchie, but my husband insists that cooter is better.


Will Shitt and Jada-Stinkin-Shitt

It's just the most annoying acting couple in the history of cinema. I know that she was Black America's sweetheart in the 90s, but she never deserved it; she was just the cute light skinned chick with light eyes, and we all know how far that'll get you in hollywood on the casting couch. To my dismay, I have to put up with her every time my husband wants to watch the sequel to The Matrix. I can only stomach her on A Different World, where she got her start, and movies like Menace to Society, where the cast made her look like Cicely Tyson (who has showing up in a lot of Tyler Perry movies for some reason).  Will has always annoyed me...I hate clean rappers. He was always a wack rapper, with the exception of Summertime. He's a much better actor, but he still gives substandard performances. People only like him because he's attractive and white people love him (for some reason).

Johnny Depth

Don't tell me that you don't think this shit is funny!You notice how deep this enigma thinks he is, and you can tell by all the Tim Burton and weird movies he keeps doing. I hate deep people...they're so annoying. I actually love Johnny Depp, though (haha...since 21 Jump Street).

Lil Brain (as in lil Wayne has a lil brain with his dumb ass raps he reminds me of Pinky from Pinky and the Brain.)


I used to fucks with lil Wayne, even though I always thought he was corny. His rhymes are not cohesive. I blame the Muhfucka in the picture below (Lay-Z) for ditching his pen and pad and egotistically freestyling in the studio. Lil Wayne decided to follow in his mentor's footsteps and here's the evidence:

I'm goin' in)Fresh off the jet, sharper than Gillette
The blunt still wet so pass it like bread
We sip side a mug, we call it upset
Smoke more than 4 quarters, we call it sudden death
I'm a beast, you a petAK long neck, key sweatWeezy, motherfucker, capo in this bitch with me
Money talks and have a convo' in this bitch with me
I'm mountain high, Colorado in this bitch with me
Flow crazy, 730, you just 65020 bullets from the chopper take the roof offLaughin' to the bank, I'm a goof ball
It's Y.M. and we at yo' neck like a violinIt's our world, we make it spin and y'all the prey, amen
Read more: LIL WAYNE - ROGER THAT LYRICS





Fiance Knowles and Lay-Z
I actually used to love him around In My Lifetime Vol. 1 and 2...had the biggest crush on him. I know his work ethic is above average, but he's Lay-Z now because he ceased to write and tell cohesive stories when he dropped the pen and pad.The greatest rappers were the best story tellers, it's not always about the freestyle. I've been a Beyonce fan since Desiny's Child vidoes were only shown on Midnight Love on BET, and I actually had to record the video on VHS to hear the song because it wasn't even on the radio (No No No). She's super annoying right now, but I don't have much mean to say. She's been Fiance to me ever since she started dating my fellow Brooklynite. I was actually happy to see them hook up, and I think they make an annoyingly cute couple (I become nauseated at a mere glimpse of them).






                                         

Charlize Moron
Charlize Theron is a beautiful actress who has been glorified because of her good performance in the movie Monster. However, she's not deserving of all of the praise she has been receiving. The Snow White movie was pretty terrible.





Leonardo The Crappy Ho
(I wanted to say DiCrapio, but my husband insisted that I write, "The Crappy Ho".)

Awesome Maximum Zoom Dweeby Pictures of Leo being a major douche bag:




I actually prefer him as an adult. However, I can't stand Inception, and I think he's been forced down my throat. He's super attractive, and that's the only reason that we worship him and the rest of these ordinary people.